Parenting mistakes I've made

Everyone makes mistakes right? Of course they do! This blog post is all about parenting mistakes that I personally feel that I've made. (Some people may have done the same as me but may not see it as a mistake for them. That's fine, please remember these are my personal thoughts) The idea of this post is to help mothers and mother to be's worries and anxiety about making a parenting mistake. We all make mistakes, people that say they haven't are lying. I hope this helps!

1. Being pregnant for the first time with Aiyanna especially being only 15, I was clueless to the world of motherhood, the do's and don'ts. I had gotten to the end of my pregnancy and I had become very impaitent... although I didn't actually go ahead and make this mistake, I was very close to it! The dreaded castor oil. Every experienced and clued up mum will cringe if you dare mention castor oil. If your on any baby groups or apps and you post about castor oil expect to be put under attack by mums who genuinely do just care about your unborn babies safety. I was looking at different ways to try and help induce I came across and tried many of the classic safe ways like eating spicy food, eating pineapple, bouncing on a birthing ball, taking long walks, yes.. sex. But nothing seemed to be working, that's when I came across the castor oil idea. Basically castor oil is a type of oil used as a lubricant and in manufacturing oil based products. It has succeeded in inducing a lot of women in the past until it was found to be causing a lot of problems and even death of the infant. It's like a laxative and it does sometimes induce but it causes a pregnant woman to be sick, have diarrhea and causes the baby to release Meconium in the womb (a babies first poo, which is of a tar consistency) which is very dangerous as baby can inhale this causing partially or completely blocked airways. As I said I was very close to taking this but I was struggling to buy it as no one would sell it to me because I was pregnant and it was kept behind the counter, I didn't understand why and that is when I made a post about it in a baby group and I got shot down with comments. STAY AWAY FROM CASTOR OIL! 🙈

2. I chose not to breastfeed because I was embarrassed, I didn't want to 'ruin' my boobs and I didn't feel comfortable doing it. It is everyone's personal choice whether they want to breastfeed or not, there is no right or wrong answer. As long as your baby is being fed that's all that matters. The reason why I feel like this was a mistake for me personally, was because I feel selfish for my reasons behind not breastfeeding and I regret not even giving it a chance. I understand my reasons but I just wish I could of tried as now I know all the amazing advantages a baby gets from being breastfed. ( I will be breastfeeding my next child ) 

3. I feel another mistake I made was letting people tell me what to do constantly and criticise things I did. Not in a helpful or friendly advice type of way, it was in a way that people thought because they had 'successfully' raised however many kids they seemed to think they could boss me about with my own child. A couple of times I was even told what to dress my child in... 😑. I was only 15 and very naive so I don't blame myself for letting people treat me that way but I am glad that I acknowlodged it as I would definitely put my foot down if someone tried to do that to me now. 

4. I underestimated Aiyanna's capability. I was in a rush one day and I needed to make her a bottle for when we was going out. I placed Aiyanna on my bed 'knowing' she couldn't roll yet. Only for her to suddenly roll and fall off the bed. This is something that affected me greatly. I felt awful that I had allowed my child to fall and I felt like I wasn't good enough. A support worker I had at the time told me every parent drops or has an accident with their child at some point in their life and I shouldn't beat myself up about it. She told me when her newborn was 2 weeks old she carried him down the stairs in a carrycot and he fell out and rolled down the stairs. It happens a lot and doesn't mean anyone is a bad parent. Now all I ever see is parents in baby groups and apps posting about their child falling off things or them dropping them and completely freaking out and feeling just how I did. It's okay, don't panic! 9 times out of 10 baby is absolutely fine.

5. I saw another girl on my Facebook feeding her baby who is the same age as my daughter blended food. ( 3 months) So I thought that meant that I was supposed to too. So one morning I gave Aiyanna some baby porridge and she really wasn't interested, she was pushing it out of her mouth. I thought I would ask my health visitor and that is when she informed me that the guideline to wean babies is 6 months as it can cause major stomach and internal problems later on in life if you wean before then. Now after doing a lot of research I am so strong hearted about that guideline! 

There has been loads of mistakes I've made from all I've listed above, to leaving a cot bumper in Aiyanna's cot before I knew it was dangerous, to silly things like forgetting her nappy cream on a day out... but over the past almost 2 years of Aiyanna's life I have learnt A LOT. Being a first time mum can be emotional and difficult. Now that I am pregnant with my second and I have educated myself that little bit more and listened to people's advice I feel a lot more prepared for this baby already than I did when I was pregnant with Aiyanna. I'm still going to make mistakes, I'm still going to need to ask for help or advice sometimes and there is nothing wrong with doing that. I'm no expert, no one is. Mistakes happen and all we can do is learn from them. 

Another thing I learnt is no, mummy doesn't always know best. I hope you enjoyed this post! 

Nicole x